Pub Marketing

I was talking to someone at work today, about the lack of pubs marketing towards the 18-25 market. They told me Of a pub that was, however, I was not convinced that the actions taken by the said establishedment were infact aimed at the age bracket in question.

It is my opinion, that painting the wall, increase the prices of meals, dereasing the sizes of meals, and holding kareoke competions, are not markets ploys to pull in the younger drinker.
If you were setting up an over 28s, maybe.

I would be interested to hear others oppinions on the subject.

Greens Vs Dandenong

I am an avid supporter of the great Bentleigh Greens Soccer Club, and as such have decided to begin, a play-by-play, blow-by-blow, triumph-by-triumph, running commentary of their season to date. So, hold onto your pants, as the action unfolds on the hallowed Victorian men’s first division pitch.

This week the Greens took it to an away match against there old nemesis The Dandenong Thunder. After a demoralising, sickness induced 1-5 loss to Langwarrin two rounds ago; the Greens took the only action any club can after such a defeat, and sacked the coach.
This led to a comeback victory against Westgate, which put them in a primed position to take the thunder back to the storm from which it came.

Dandenong came from two back-to-back wins, had a home ground advantage. Rumours have recently circulated suggesting that Dandenong have been flying in out of state players; due to the fact there starting line up has as many stars as an overcast midday sky.

On this occasion however, the extra muscle was in vain, and as the Dandenong players hurled nuts at the pitch in contempt, the greens took the win, 2 goals zip.
Goals were scored by Ben Cogger and Fikret Husanovic.

Next week The greens will take on the ladder leaders Frankston Pines, in a top two, battle of the tightens, ‘marno-E-marno’, West side story meets run baby run street gang fight/riot onslaught, to decided top place.

A win to the treated pines puts the comfortably ahead. A win to the greens (the colour of treated pine) will make them the first team this season to topple this old growth team from the top of the ladder.

Say tuned for all the highlights.

Mouse in Space!!!!!

If ever a small white lab mouse had flown further into space, Jeff certainly didn’t know about it. He was going high and further than any mouse he knew, or had even read of in Space lab rat Monthly, The industry approved scientific magazine, for all rodents within the space exploration and testing industry. I mean sure, there was that Russian Rat named Ike, who had stowed away on Mere, but Stowaways don’t count, and anyway, The RISAB program (Rodents in space and Beyond) was going to go way past Mere. They were going all the way baby, the end of the known universe or bust. And who was the mouse for the Job? Jeff was the mouse. He was more than a mouse, he was a mouse mountain! No mouse had ever scored as higher speeds on the rotating wheel. No mouse on record had ever come close to eating many of its own young. Jeff had the best times through the maze with both cheese and nut based baits.
This was it. It was Jeff’s time to shine and he was going to make every star in the sky jealous. He was calm and colleted as his handler placed him in the end of his cardboard tube.
“This doesn’t seem all that stable” said Jeff to himself “I mean I’m not a space ship designer or anything, but you’d think you need more than a cardboard tube to get all the way through known space and beyond. It must be re-enforced or something. Jeff looked back to ground from his Cardboard throne aloft. He could see his handler preparing the pile of sparkler dust at the base of his ship.
“One would think you would need more than sparkler dust as fuel if your going to brake through the Earths atmosphere and be released from it’s gravitation pull, and to be thrown far into the darkest depths of space.” He thought, “But what do I know about explosives. Every mouse has his job on this mission. That’s what makes us the best. We’re a team. A mouse for every job, and a job for every mouse.”
Jeff listened as his handler called out the count down from the other side of the back yard.
“10, 9, 8, 7, 6 …” This was it. It was time to make Global history. “5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Lunch is Go!”


This Story is dedicated To PInky and The Brain. The world is yours my friends, The world is yours.

Self-denial and pants

I once heard a man say, that there were two things that amazed him. Man’s ability for self-denial, and the fact that human beings are the only animals that wears pants. I think it was on an episode of Las Vegas, but try not to let that take away from its depth. This statement had an incredible impact on me, primarily due to it’s finite truth, and the fact that it had come from a mid series episode of Las Vegas. No matter what your personal beliefs or inclination in regards to the creation of the universe, you can’t argue with the fact that when it comes to pants, humans are number one and only.
Where exactly along the evolutionary chain did we pick up slacks? At what point did the survival of the fittest think to itself, ‘you know what this animal really needs to survive in this new and changing environment? Corduroy. Denim will the trait the takes this species to the Top’.
Maybe the whole point of evolving into pants was really a cover for our need for pockets. We can all agree that a man is never more vulnerable than when he’s lost his keys, but why then did we not develop a form of kangaroo pouch, or hair net if you will. Surly if we just grew our hair out, and braided it into a form of satchel, that would more than cover our storage needs. As you grow older and your personal requirements grew to include makeup, or a laptop, your hair would also grow, providing the ability to either create one large storage area, or a number of smaller pockets as you go. As your hair falls basically down the centre of your body, this would also remove and improve a lot of back and spinal problems, as weight would be more evenly, and symmetrically distributed.
Maybe survival of the fittest believes that looks really can kill, and felt that as fashion improved, we could use our pants for hunting. Unfortunately it didn’t take camouflage into account, thus producing the ‘urban-camo’ problems we see today. This theory, however, goes in direct violation of the rules of the survival of the fittest, and thus cannot be trusted. If it were the case however, it would have produced server annihilation of inner city teenagers, through the late nineteen nineties. An affair that may, or may not, have benefited us all.
The most probable reason for our evolution into trousers is of course to decrease the speed by which we could get it out, and thus reduce the speed by which we could overpopulate the Earth. This of course cannot be the reason either, due to the fact the natural evolution of pants has brought with it the button, zipper and Velcro fly, along with elastic waists and of cause kappa bouton leg pants. These are all things that have improved pant removal, going against the pant’s very point in the first place.
It seams that the more you think about it, the less pants fit within the rules of natural selection. One thing that does fit within the rules however, is that in recent times, mankind has seamed to greatly reduce his overall need to think. This aliens perfectly with the range of pant currently descending on the planet. If you don’t think about it too much, this can be considered logical reasoning, and will put you mind at ease. Ware pant loud and proud and say, “I don’t care how little reason these bad boy chafers have, you other animals can sit on it, cause I’ve got them, I’m at the top of the food chain, and if you look at me funny, I’ll eat you and ware you at the same time so there!”

An Ode to Friday

F is for the freedom that comes at 5:00pm
R is for Restless, The feeling till Then
I is for Inn, pub or any non-work location
D is for the drinks I will enjoy in moderation
A is a grade I give myself for this weeks work
Y is for Yak, an animal that has never worked a full day in its life, and will never enjoy Friday night as much as me.

Elephants

If you go to
http://news.bbc.co.uk/
right now, you will see a picture of a man with a big noes, pointing at his ears (pointing with his hands, not his nose), and the picture is right next to an unrelated picture of an elephant. That my friends is funny, and I dare you to say other wise

Just because you know a hand full of things,
does not mean you can palm them off as wisdom.

This statement is dedicated to the bad joke jar at Bells Milk Bar.
For all your milk related needs (except mothers milk, or goats milk)

Viva la cow.

Blog spot

This is my first ever Blogspot blog, so I thought it apt to make it there about. Unfortunately, As I have only just in the last 20 minutes signed up, I know very little about blogspots, and I've basically already exhausted my knowledge base on it.
Sorry for the let down, I promise my next effort will far more accurately resemble something you may want to read.